I share a blog with some of my family and friends. We just started it to help us all work together as a team towards our weight loss goals. I wrote this post in response to a post by one of the members that talked about how she used to be thin and could pick up any guy she wanted and so on.
I don't agree that one has to be thin to make things happen for yourself. This is my response to that post. I wanted to share it here because I believe in it so much.
Here it is:
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| Beth Ditto {Singer: Gossip} |
"Does being beautiful mean being a size 0?? I think not! While most children who develop eating disorders are between 11 and 13, studies have shown that 80% of 3rd through 6th graders are dissatisfied with their bodies or their weight and by age 9 somewhere between 30 and 40% of girls have already been on a diet. Between ages 10 and 16, the statistic jumps to 80%. Many eating disorder experts attribute this behavior to the effects of cultural expectations. Unnatural ideas of beauty bombard our little girls and teens for as long as they can remember, they need to know that they do not have to be as thin as bread sticks to be sexy or beautiful!" http://listverse.com/2008/05/22/top-10-hottest-plus-sized-celebrities/
I don't know about all of you, but I am happy with the way I look. And I am the largest of all of us. I would like to lose a little weight to be more healthy and have less of a pooch hanging over my pants, but by no means do I want to be skinny. I still want to be able to shop at
Torrid when I reach my goal {which is still to be decided}. Even with the pooch, I still think I am sexy.
You don't have to be thin to be able to go home with the hottest guy in the bar. All you need is confidence. Trust me. I have seen it happen. Knowing that you are beautiful at any size is a very attractive quality to have. And it will draw people to you, male and female alike. I find it maddening that we live in a world where we are taught to believe that we have to look a certain way to get the things we want in life, or to even be happy. If you're not happy with yourself the way you are now, It's hard to believe that one would be truly happy by just losing weight.
Don't get me wrong, reaching your goal weight would definitely be an ego booster and can definitely raise your self esteem. But I don't think it is the solution to the problem, whatever it may be. You have to revamp your mind before you can revamp your body or you'll probably just end up back where you started.
I used to think that I would be happy with myself if I could just be skinny. But by discovering things like
adipositivity.com I slowly realized that women {and men too} can be sexy at any size, fat or thin. And if the women on that site can feel sexy, why shouldn't I? True, being overweight may not be the healthiest choice out there, but at least you are happy with yourself and your body. And once that happens, hopefully we can stop using food to make us feel better about ourselves. That way, we can make healthy choices a little more easily. {It's still going to be hard because unhealthy choices are so much easier and sometimes tastier too. Not to mention less expensive, but that's another story}
I don't think I have picked a goal weight because I really don't care about the number of pounds I weigh. I would prefer to go by how my clothes fit and how my body actually looks to me. I already think I am sexy, but I do feel if I were a coupe sizes smaller I would be even sexier... because that is just what I am attracted to. I am perfectly happy to have curves and wobbly bits. I WANT to have them! If at the end of this my body looks like Beth Ditto's I will be happy, but I will love myself just the same because i already do. :)
It seems the media is finally wising up a little. More and more I am seeing "Plus Size" models in "Skinny Magazines" and on TV and in movies. But I think it is going to take a long time for the cultural expectations to change. Fat seems like the last thing that is actually still socially acceptable to discriminate against.
"From race to sexuality, discrimination is unfortunately prevalent in society. Times might be a-changing, and with change comes progress, but with every two steps forward, it can be sometimes be one step back. Weight seems to be the last accepted form of discrimination."
I guess what I am trying to say is that if I can love myself and body {being the largest out of all of us} I hope that you all can too. You are all beautiful women already. Each and every one of you is attractive in your own way. I am completely serious. You are all sexy inside and out. I know it, I hope you do to. And if you don't I hope that one day you will. If you are happy with yourself and your body, that is really all that matters. Who cares what haters think? If you are confident in who you are you will attract others who will love you for the right reasons. And they will love your body too, because you do!
And for those of you who are worried what men with think about your body, I have found that most men love it when you have a little something {or a lot} to grab onto. Including carpenters. ;)
Rant Over.
